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Darker Than Blue

by Barbara Jean

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1.
I like to see you baby coming after me I’m so mad about you darling I can barley sleep Did I do it to myself or did you do it me? If I can’t have you baby there’ll be lonesome melody My heart is like a freight train barreling down on you And I’m on my way back to something true No matter which way it’s going to be Deep inside my heart I know you’ll always be with me I was just living up in Beaumont with flowers in my hair Turning over stones and building castles in the air When you brought me to the clouds where the gods grind slow You kept me from drowning in the ocean below My heart is like a freight train barreling down on you And I’m on my way back to something true No matter which way it’s going to be Deep inside my heart I know you’ll always be with me They say to love somebody is the hardest thing you’ll do There are 7000 soldiers marching darker than blue I was wishing at the well before you even came to town And I’ll be wishing you well, while our love is breaking down My heart is like a freight train barreling down on you And I’m on my way back to something true No matter which way it’s going to be Deep inside my heart I know you’ll always be with me
2.
I say a prayer to the water and offer up my dream Take all the unkindness and let me be redeemed Black spruce like needles pierce midnight sky I’ll hunt for you at daybreak gnashed teeth and anxious eyes Sun shines down on the water a thousand glittering coins Last night I met a serpent she stole me from my sleep All silver-tongue and honey she swore she’d be discreet When all the crushing furry fractures rock and bone I’ll beg for your forgiveness a servant at the throne In the pitch-dark blanket of night black silk washes the shore
3.
What's Right 03:08
I spend my time how I want to If you knew me you’d agree After 40 years of working I should kick back and be free I spent all my life Tryin’ to do what’s right Traded years for dollars Exchanged my life, liberty I grew up in harsh world Dreams were buried in the ground I learned first hand as a young girl Tears that fall make no sound I spent all my life Tryin’ to do what’s right Traded years for dollars Exchanged my life, liberty I’ve put bread on the table Shoes on my children’s feet Cared for my folks in their last years Tried to make life complete I spent all my life Tryin’ to do what’s right Traded years for dollars Exchanged my life, liberty The world throws a headwind I let it burn me on my face The way the chill cuts into me Lost time without a trace I spent all my life Tryin’ to do what’s right Traded years for dollars Exchanged my life, liberty
4.
Mailboxes and pine tress and telephone wires Dirt roads that are empty and fire numbers passing by All of my days All of my nights This little rural town This little rural life Stubborn opinions and beaches of rock Fried fish in summer at Shelly’s place down by the dock All of my days All of my nights This little rural town This little rural life Graves dug out by hand in the hot mid-day sun Across from a chapel with a wedding on that how it’s done All of my days All of my nights This little rural town This little rural life Power lines in tatters, the west end is dark tonight A storm for the ages, in the house of love go out the lights All of my days All of my nights This little rural town This little rural life Way up in the northern sky our history dances by Unraveling thoughts of you drenched in shades of blue I want you to know, now that you’re gone I have regret for all I’ve done wrong
5.
Leaving defines me as those tall pines roll behind me This new city is as cold as stone The snow is out there falling and the traffic’s out there crawling And I’m living in this dirty little room What happens after you flee the disaster Will you make it or break it on your own Across the canyon that lies in my heart Is a new life that is tearing me apart At night I try to sleep but I can still feel my heart beat For the place I used to call my home The men out on the corner ain’t got nothing to prove The record’s spinning “Walking the floor over you” What happens after you flee the disaster Will you make it or break it on your own Across the canyon that lies in my heart Is a new life that is tearing me apart I look back and I see you standing there Down by Devil Track River where we once lay bare Your dark brown coat and your eyes of winter green The only way to be with you now is in dimness of my dreams What happens after you flee the disaster Will you make it or break it on your own Across the canyon that lies in my heart Is a new life that is tearing me apart
6.
I’ve been on the run for many a year Shackles on my hands tethered to my fear I’ve been running from myself now I’m on the move again Gone back to my old ways trying to pretend It’s a long walk back to the place I left my heart It’s a long walk back Take me to the start back where I lost my way The clouds were rolling in, all those shades of grey Looking back on it now I’ve seen all my mistakes Piling up with the dust I left in my wake It’s a long walk back to the place I left my heart It’s a long walk back I’ve been lying to myself, I’ve been lying to you It seems to be the way, it’s how I make it through Now I’m back in this place where I’ve really always been Can’t seem to figure out how to let go and when It’s a long walk back to the place I left my heart It’s a long walk back Time is moving on, going faster every day And everything we built is crumbling away I’m standing in the dark, lonely on my side On this empty street it’s impossible to hide If I could have you back in my life again I’d have known what I had You were always my friend but It’s a long walk back to the place I left my heart It’s a long walk back
7.
The Ticket 04:11
I’m taking the things that I’m learning From living with you side by side The cold and the love and the yearning All come on the long slow ride I’m ready to take my time I’m ready not to hide my eyes For it’s you that my heart is burning And for you that I’ll always try Lately my spirit’s been breaking With the weight of the things I can’t hide And I’m sorry for how long it’s taken To face all that I have denied I’m ready to take my time I’m ready not to hide my eyes For it’s you that my heart is burning And for you that I’ll always try I put up my pack and my suitcase Cast off my traveling shoes I tucked a new key in my pocket One I don’t plan to lose I’m ready to take my time I’m ready not to hide my eyes For it’s you that my heart is burning And for you that I’ll always try
8.
9.
What For 04:07
I can’t get no rest I’m so mad I’m going blind I can’t get no rest, so mad I’m going blind Wheels spinning round, dark thoughts on my mind The house was dark and empty so I drove down to the bar The house was dark and empty so I drove down to the bar When I rolled up sure enough I found your car I walked on in and took a look around I walked on in and took a look around Over in the corner with another girl you’d found I marched right over and I caught you by surprise I marched on over and your eyes were filled with lies But you can’t hide the truth when it’s sitting on your thigh You say I love you I say what for You say I’m sorry and I say what for I got no time for you when I’m walking out that door
10.
As time draws near my dearest dear When you and I must part How little you know of the grief and woe In my poor aching heart Tis' but I suffer for your sake Believe me dear it's true I wish that you were staying here Or I was going with you I wish my breast were made of glass Wherein you might behold Upon my heart your name lay wrote In letters made of gold In letters made of gold my love Believe me when I say You are the one that I’ll adore Until my dying day The blackest crow that ever flew Would surely turn to white If ever I prove false to you Bright day would turn to night Bright day would turn to night my love The elements would mourn If ever I prove false to you The sea would rage and burn

credits

released November 18, 2014

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Barbara Jean Grand Marais, Minnesota

Barbara Jean grew up immersed in a world of music and sound, honing her early gift for the violin, and a musical legacy passed from grandmother to mother to daughter, into a sharp eye for songwriting and a skilled hand as a multi-instrumentalist. An award-winning songwriter, she has shared bills with such notable acts as Trampled By Turtles, The Pines, Low, Jonathan Edwards, and Meg Hutchinson. ... more

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